After more than a week at the Banburee Resort on Koh Samui, the idea of travelling again was actually a little exciting, whilst the idea of dealing with the logistics again — trains, accomodation, border-crossings — was just plain depressing. We did a few searches on the web, but didn’t really figure out much; we knew we had to get off the island, step one, then find our way south, but that was it.

And so yesterday we had an early start (6:30am), checked out by 8 and “chartered a car” to take us to the ferry back to the mainland. We bought tickets at the docks, then settled into to reasonably comfortable seats for the two hour journey. It was a different boat — even a different dock — to the one we took to get here, and as we looked around we realised it was the way the locals travelled. No slouching, back-packing teenagers sun-bathing on the crowded deck!

Once on the mainland, we took a bus to Surat Thani, as it turned out our ferry tickets had already paid for that. We napped — it’s a long bus ride — but were eventually dropped in the middle of town somewhere. “Train station,” we asked the young bus attendant, and he pointed us happily towards a tuk-tuk driver. “300 baht,” he quoted, and we bristled (it shouldn’t be that much, surely!), then aquiesced (what else were we going to do?). Turns out it was still quite a way to the train station, so by the time we got there — over ill-paved roads, slick with rain and mud — we didn’t mind the price so much.

It was lunch time, so I bought us some dodgy instant hamburgers from a local market. The next train was 4:30pm, said the kind woman in the ticket office, but we could get a bus from just over there. Five hours (and a nap) later, we were here in Hat Yai!

We tuk-tuk’d to the train station and considered our options: a 2am sleeper tonight, or come back tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow it is. Let’s find the biggest hotel in town and splurge — look, there’s a Novotel sign. And so here we are, eating breakfast in the grand lobby and planning our next border run. Honestly, by this stage we both just want to get home and set up camp … who knew taking such a long holiday would be this hard? As Dee said on Monday, as the bugs and mozzies swarmed around us: “Bah! I hate paradise!”

The bus took us on a short tour of the hotels and hostels in Bangkok, picking up people, dropping them off and at one point just driving around the block a couple of times — looking for a carpark, maybe? We were issued little coloured stickers, ticked off a list, and eventually were on our way our of the city and towards the infamous River Kwai. It was a couple of hours, and the bus driver was crazy: there are two lanes painted on most roads, but in practise it’s three, with the “center lane” (drive along the line) for rushed overtaking and swerving around slower traffic. Yeah, glad we’re not driving ourselves.

River Kwai (and the requisite cemetary/monument to the commonwealth P.O.W.s who died building the bridge) was unfortunately a bit boring, but brief; our next trip took us into the hills to ride elephants! We both felt bad putting our feet on his back (and I thought we were about to fall off any second) but we walked around and took photos and even “shook hands” (er, trunks? Trunks and hands?). When the ride was over we had no problem tipping the driver (really the elephant) and buying a round of delicious bananas for the pachyderms. They eat right out of your hands!

From here, a tuk-tuk took (heh) us to a spot on a nearby river — I don’t know which one — and we ate Thai food on a little floating bamboo pontoon; we tucked in with relish (excitement, not actual relish) as, after all, breakfast was many hours earlier. Sated, comfortably full, we donned life-jackets and were towed upstream by a long-boat, then floated quietly back down to our dock. It would’ve been more relaxing, maybe, if we hadn’t floated past a “karaoke pontoon”. Or if the patrons had had better voices, I suppose.

A new minubus took us to some waterfalls and a picnic area, literally swarming with Thai kids and their families. It was a nice place for a day out, I guess, but we only had twenty minutes (and no swimmers) so wandered for a while then grabbed some barbeque chicken sticks (we always call them “goat sticks”, in memory of a Nepalese restaurant we visited in Richmond many moons ago — the nickname is both easier to remember/pronounce than the Nepalese, and satisfyingly juvenile if you say it fast). Back on the bus!

The final stop was the highlight — although the elephants were pretty amazing — as we saw, sat, patted and walked with tigers in the “Tiger Temple”. The photos tell the story better than I can.

Now we’re back on a (totally new) bus, headed back to Bangkok. Tomorrow we’re planning on hitting the shopping malls, then finding a new/better hotel for our final night in town — on Tuesday we’re taking a train, then a ferry, to the island of Koh Samui. Once there we’ve got eight nights at a little resort-type place — perfect to unwind and spend the rest of our 15-day Thai VISA. Fingers are well and truly crossed that, unlike the White Orchid, the resort lives up to the pretty little photos of the place.

We were disappointed by the roof-top restaurant — empty, derelict, nice-enough views but nobody up there — but utterly dismayed to find the spa-room (jacuzzi!!) closed, locked and unlit from within. Why advertise this? (Answer: it gets people through the door.) Why have directions to each service prominently displayed in elevators and on signage throughout the hotel? (Answer: cheaper than taking them down.) Frustrating more than annoying, but also annoying enough that we would never recommend anyone stay there; for our final night in Bangkok, as we only booked three and want to stay a fourth, we’re looking elsewhere … and inspecting rooms before we agree to anything.

To escape our dismal hotel, we took a river- and canal-cruise. A tuk-tuk journey — and they are different here to Laos — down to the water, then a couple of hours sailing in a little boat (a “putt-putt”, maybe?) with a smiling but quiet “driver”. We sat and relaxed, enjoying the gentle swell and a beer bought from a canoe that pulled up next to us (on the floating-vendor’s insistence, we bought a beer for our “driver” (captain?) too, ‘though I didn’t see if she drank it while navigating the narrow canals or not). We saw the Grand Palace, the Thai Naval college, a couple of enormous lizards swimming through the water and about four hundred Wats, Buddhist monasteries replete with temples, stupas and enormous gold statues. We chose NOT to stop at the “Snake Park” because, frankly, “…dar[ing] to handle poisonous snakes…” is not our idea of fun — and we can do that in Australia just by setting up camp.

Cruise over and the afternoon well-and-truly underway, we headed for a little cafe for a bite to eat and something cool to drink, avoiding (and after a short while, ignoring) the touts offering cheap suits, cheap silks, cheap jewellery, cheap crap — and of course the ubiquitous and insistent tuk-tuk drivers, “30 baht, where you wanna go sir? Hello sir.” Screw it: doesn’t look that far to the “O’Reilly’s Irish Bar”, let’s walk!

It turned out further than expected, but perhaps if we hadn’t stopped at little shopping malls along the way … anyway, we found another British pub instead, the Duke of Wellington, and ducked in — it was positively icy, in stark contrast to the muggy heat outdoors — for some dinner and a little Rugby: Wallabies vs Springboks at Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane. (When Australia won, outclassing the “Saffas” with ease, we quickly scanned the room for the stricken faces of South Africans, planning to remorselessly tease and ridicule them, but if any were present they demonstrated a stoic composure worthy of a Hollywood botox-beauty — not a single tear in the place. Oh well, there’s always next time…)

We were, of course, ridiculously early — 2pm when the train left at 5pm — but we figured it was better early than late. We sat on the platform, read our newly-swapped (in Vientiane) books and sorted out the Laos exit stamp once the office opened. It was thankfully nice and cool, as there’d been a bit of rain that afternoon, and before long our train arrived. We boarded for the short hop to Nan Kai, where we were granted free Thai entry VISAs (looking at it we now have until the 5th of August in Thailand — and we haven’t decided whether to go to Cambodia or save that, along with Vietnam, for next time).

First-class ain’t grand, but it was a two-bunk cabin with air-conditioning, and we weren’t really expecting much more. We fell asleep to the rattle and rocking of the carriage…

Then Dee, half awake, saw a cockroach and was startled awake. Not a fan of the little chitinous critters, it was (apparently) difficult for her to fall asleep again … on the top bunk, I was oblivious.

We arrived in Bangkok at 6:30am, then spent a good 45 minutes looking for our hotel (and refusing tuk-tuks — it should just be around the corner, dammit!). We checked in, got a free upgrade (it’s still a bit dingy, disappointing when I was looking for 5-star luxury), ate a quick breakfast downstairs … and now Dee sleeps and I watch Russia TV.

Be happy to get home now. Oh, in the meantime here’s a slideshow of photos from Laos!